Over the past several decades, marriage rates have been steadily declining in the United States, while cohabitation—couples living together without being married—has rapidly grown. A 2019 study from Pew Research found that more Americans have cohabitated than have been married. In fact, today, there are fifteen times more unmarried couples living together than there were in 1960.
To many people, this just feels normal. Common. They say, “Marriage is just a piece of paper. What matters is that we love each other.” But that mindset ignores some important truths—and some very real consequences.
According to research, couples who live together before marriage are 48% more likely to get divorced. Why? Because cohabitation isn’t true preparation for a lifelong commitment—it’s a placeholder, a trial run. Both people are silently saying, “You’ll do for now—unless something better comes along.
It’s like being stuck in a never-ending job interview—constant evaluation, no job security, and the looming possibility of being replaced. The benefits of marriage—stability, trust, long-term growth—are all exactly opposite to the effect cohabitation is having on our culture. And those marriage benefits don’t kick in until you’ve actually made the commitment — until you’ve said, “I do.”
Marriage, especially when grounded in faith and community, is more than a legal status. It’s not just a piece of paper! It’s a covenant, a spiritual and emotional union that honors God, reflects His goodness, and changes us for the better. Marriage shapes how we love, how we forgive, and how we build a life together. Author Glenn Stanton put it this way: “The ring makes all the difference.”
Too many young people have never been taught what marriage really is—or why it matters. The radical left has done a lot of damage through the sexual revolution and a push for personal autonomy. That’s why we as the Church, as families, and as mentors must speak up. Because wedding vows aren’t just for show and tax benefits — they carry spiritual, measurable, life-changing weight.
This post originally appeared at https://phyllisschlafly.com/family/cohabitation-kills-marriage/
Phyllis Schlafly